Grief like Babushka Dolls

October is my favourite month. The dreaded humidity hasn’t kicked in yet in Sydney. Although, alarmingly there are early bushfires in the Blue Mountains. I love the pause before Christmas, and all the excitement of my daughter as she prepares for Halloween. As a child I had always wished we celebrated the American custom of Halloween and my daughter loves dressing up in spooky clothes and this year has begged me to adorn the front of the house with skeletons and spiders. My daughter is dressing as a pink vampire for Halloween night.

Inspiration Board for the Currawong book. My new mystery novel

 I’ve made an inspiration board for my Currawong book. This helps me to try to focus back into my novel after submerging myself into the world of Poet’s Cottage. I did also join Pinterest but haven’t yet found time to do any online inspiration boards although it looks wonderfully amazing and fun there. I only have such little time for online activities and what with Blogging, Facebook. Twitter and Good Reads, it does get quite overwhelming.

 At times I need to step back, meditate, read poetry, observe nature and try to find inspiration in the natural world around me. I’m seeking balance at the moment.

Inside each doll a tear, a fear, a stone a bone

 On Sunday I will fly solo to Tasmania to visit my father. Some of you may know my dad has been battling a very aggressive cancer for the last five years. When I finished the copy edit for Poet’s Cottage, the cancer finally attached its tentacles into his liver.

We had already booked to go to Tasmania for a family Christmas but I feel most strongly to travel down now.

If you have had to witness a loved one battle cancer or any progressive illness you will understand when I say how the sadness is like inverted Babushka dolls. Just when you think the grief, shock, anger, depression is abating, you open the doll and there’s another bigger layer to deal with.

Love to pink witches everywhere

 It’s been so hot in Sydney. I’m relieved for the day today which is grey, cool and drizzling. And October is also my birthday month. I’m so pleased to celebrate another year of life and to honour the ancestors as I do so. In the dawn park where I run I watched with awe as a Bottlebrush tree was transformed into a shimmering jewel as a dozen rainbow parrots enjoyed their nectar breakfast. With every birthday, it is the simple things I treasure the most. Birds, sky, trees and breath.

9 Responses

  1. ravenscauldron October 29, 2011 / 5:37 am

    I am sad to hear of your father’s illness, I hope that he is in not too much pain and is able at times to communicate with his family. Your instincts are probably true for you Jennifer for Cancer has it’s own time limits. One always hopes for the best, but sometimes when you feel you need to go to see them, it’s best to listen to your inner voice. I hope all is well. Enjoy your page and that you are thinking up a new book.

  2. josephinetalepeddler October 29, 2011 / 12:16 pm

    Thank you for your thoughts. I’m a big believer in following your instinct. Thankfully, there is little pain thanks to the wonderful nursing staff. My father after many years fighting the cancer has accepted his death is near. Best wishes to you and yes, I’m hard at work on a new book. xx

  3. suzygabyandmaud October 29, 2011 / 5:17 pm

    Dear Josephine

    I can imagine how very difficult that journey to Tasmania is going to be for you, As you know, I am in the same situation with my Father having terminal cancer and dread the day that I get the call from my Mother telling me that the time is nearing. I know it’s been coming but nothing is going to prepare me for that journey. I feel so full of sadness for what you are going through.

    There is very little I can say to make things better other than that you are very much in my thoughts and prayers Josephine.

    I have done the same with Facebook, twitter etc…so many other priorities.

    Take care,


    Isabelle x

  4. sleepydwarf October 29, 2011 / 11:32 pm

    I am so sorry about your father. It’s horrible to watch someone you love battle a long term illness when you know that they won’t get better.

    When my father passed away after a very long illness I’m glad I got the chance to day goodbye, and something he said to me in one of the few moments he was actually here with us in the last few days gave me belief that he knew what was happening, he knew it was his time and he was ready to go. And even though losing him was very sad (and in some ways it felt like we’d lost him a long time ago), there was also relief that he was no longer suffering. I’m also glad that he got to know my little boy, even only for a few years, and that my son has some memories of his grandfather.

    Take care and do whatever you need to do.

  5. jen storer October 30, 2011 / 7:21 am

    I’m so very sorry to hear of your father’s illness, Josephine, I can only imagine what this trip will be like for you, it will take alot of courage. I hope you are taking good care of yourself too and have someone on hand who can be of practical or better still, spiritual, help. It’s so important to look after mind, body and soul at these times especially when you have a young child and a demanding career. Thinking of you. sending you blessings (and Halloween kisses to the little pink vampire!) xox

  6. beachvintage November 1, 2011 / 2:06 am

    Hi Josephine, I truly feel for you. My sister battled lung cancer ( and won) with all the chemo and heart wrenching procedures it is so hard to get through. Please take care of yourself. Simone xx

  7. Val November 4, 2011 / 10:11 pm

    I’m sorry for the loss ahead, Josephine. I have lost people suddenly and slowly, and I don’t know which is harder, but I do know it is hard to watch someone fade away like this. I send you much love.

  8. Jane November 7, 2011 / 12:04 am

    hi Josephine. – I am really sorry to hear about your father. I can relate only too well. And I agree, just when you think you have got over one hurdle or battle, another thing pops its head up. I am thinking of you and your family.

    Love this blog.

    Am sending you an email too.


  9. Modern Country Style November 9, 2011 / 8:39 pm

    I came over from your other blog, which I subscribed to, and then realised that this was far more up to date!

    Oh, I really feel for you about visiting your father. My grandmother died of ovarian cancer and a tiny part of me felt as though if I didn’t visit her then she wouldn’t really be ill. How silly. But, of course, I did visit lots and I am so glad I did. I hope your trip goes really welll.


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